In Other Words

The Difference

So, what has changed? What has made me decide that working now for future enjoyment is actually a good thing? Little, really. I’m in Singapore, which I also was when I last held the view that it was better to enjoy now and work later. I’m only one or two years less young. I haven’t had any deliberating illness, I haven’t lost an arm, leg, or even a part of my brain. I’m, in many respects, quite similar to how I was. Though I did lose some hair.

Discounting the ‘short term gain correlates to hair’ theory, I can think of only one thing that changed and, then again, didn’t. I went to Australia and hated it. I spent 10 months of my life working my ass off for little to no physical gain (We actually came back with less money than we left with).

I ran around Austria and came to understand exactly how /not/ to work. How to slave away for ten, to twelve hours for only enough money to piss away within an hour in a bar. I came to understand living from hand to mouth and I came to understand the people who are content living that way.

At the fear of sounding arrogant, I saw the blue-collar life, the life of the less ambitious, the life of those more comfortable with ‘the price is right’ than a controversial thought. I saw their life for ten months (I had, to tell the truth, never been in that situation before) and I hated it. What was more, and I think this made an even bigger impact on me, I saw that they weren’t all that content there, either.

Maybe ignorance is bliss, but these people were not ignorant of the fact that many people seemed to be having more fun than them. They just had were impotent to do anything about it. So what happened? Substance abuse happened. This person grabbed for the bottle, that person for the joint, a third person abused harder substances. These people, though they were good people all, grabbed onto drugs and substances for escapism, because that was all they really had.

I realised that that was not the life I wanted to live. I had seen the more ambitious (who I had always thought of as less happy) and realised that their drive actually gave them happiness. I came to understand the difference between one group’s desperation to get out and the other group’s easy to move on. I came to realise that I wanted to be more than I was and make more while I was doing it.

So I got busy and that’s where I am now. And yes, it is better. I am enjoying life more and enjoying the respect that comes with doing a good job at something that people actually care about. Being respected for doing something and not scoffed at and treated as something less than human.

I enjoy the white-collar world and yes, I even enjoy working a twelve-hour day on occasion, especially since it is what I want to work at, as well as at the salary level that I find fair for what I’m doing. I would be hard pressed to piss away twelve-hour’s work within a bar within an hour now!

(Interestingly enough, I also feel less inclined to try, though that might be just a phase.)

posted by Symbol @ 26.10.05